So, it turns out that my father isn’t making me drive around Victoria, visiting a variety of car workshops in order to get my inheritance. No, that was all just a big misunderstanding. You see, I had simply assumed that all of the workshops were in Victoria. Turns out they’re all across Australia. So, next stop is Adelaide. Thanks, dad.

The instructions on his will suggest that I am to get a log book service near Adelaide, at a particular workshop. Now, obviously, the first workshop was just a place where my father donated money to so that he could claim ridiculous amounts of tax deduction. Why would he choose a car shop in Adelaide for tax purposes, though? I think there might be something else going on here. I just hope it’s not what I’m thinking. Anything but that.

You see, my father is a man of high culture. He would never choose to associate with the working class. He was born into wealth, able to afford to live in a castle, even. I hope that I haven’t inherited the castle, actually. It has a real bat problem. I never really liked bats, so I’d rather stay away from my childhood home.

Anyway, I’m currently driving toward Adelaide to get this log book service. Maybe I should get them to run some engine diagnostics as well, while I’m at it. Then again, perhaps I should check the next instructions on the list. I almost got a log book service at the previous workshop, but now I’m required to get one in Adelaide, too. No point in doubling up on services and repairs, even if I am getting them for free.

You know, dad’s death really came as a big shock. For someone his age, he was in really good shape. I thought he was going to live forever, and he always talked about achieving immortality. But then one guy broke into his castle and put that dream in the dirt.

It’s sad, but at least I’m inheriting billions of dollars.

– Will Hunter