Some of my mates say that I’m “whipped” but that’s not even the half of it. I mean, this isn’t about being dominated by a woman, this is about me being forced into roles that women traditionally take. And it’s blooming hard work! She expects dinner on the table when she gets home from work (even though I’ve been at work all day myself) and I spend my weekends laundering and ironing while she’s in front of the TV (if I don’t do it, no one else will!) Now I have some idea of what it means to be female.

When we needed Smeg oven repairs, Sydney couldn’t have been a worse place to live. I was seriously thinking about flying away to the Caribbean. I knew I had to get dinner ready, and how was I supposed to explain to the missus that the oven was broken? I also knew this was going to be the perfect opportunity for her to order in take out, and I didn’t want to do that because I’m worried about her cholesterol. When I did eventually tell her what had happened, she told me to call the appliances repairs company and then we had this huge fight about that. I mean, how am I supposed to get dinner ready for the family, drop off the kids and pick them up, take our mothers to the doctors, clean the house, do the laundry, do the gardening, all at the same time as working full time and also call the repairs company and wait around for them to show up? And what about the future? What’s going to happen should we ever need other services, like a fridge or washing machine repair. Sydney, I’m saying goodbye! I no longer want to be a domestic slave!

The missus thought about this for a few moments, then she said that she would call the company and take a couple of hours off work to let them in the house. Was that ever a relief! I hope she’s takes a similarly compassionate attitude in the future.