Some men just don’t know how to treat a lady. As an eighty year old single and eligible bachelorette, I know what I want and what I need. It’s just a shame that men out there don’t get it. I met a dashing young fellow at a club the other day. Boy was he handsome— and no more than half my age! He seemed very keen to get to know me so we exchanged numbers and he called me the next day. He said that he had a date planned for us and asked me to meet him at Docklands. Now I’m the type of girl who loves it when a man takes control, so naturally I was thrilled. Little did I realise that our “date” would end in a function room in Melbourne.
When I reached the address he’d asked me to meet him at I looked up at the building of an ice skating rink. My date, Daniel, turned up moments later, handing me some winter woolies though it was the middle of spring. We were in for a bit of a skate, he said, and that’s when I felt the apprehension set in.
I may appear much younger than I am, but I sure am not as limber as I used to be. I was worried that my knees would snap as soon as I got on the ice. But I kept my composure and tried not to be a wet blanket. I figured that would accentuate the age difference between us and I wanted to seem young and sanguine. We skated around a little. I have to admit that it was plenty of fun. I always thought that ice skating rinks were more for kids birthday party venues. Near Melbourne, where we live, people tend to be more open minded so I guess that’s how I ended up at an ice skating rink for a date. Despite the fun, I still would have preferred a more traditional romantic liaison, like a candle lit dinner or a movie at a late night matinee. That’s why I decided to terminate our relationship before it had time to blossom into something more.