I’m sick of youths telling me that I’m too old to buy a brand new video game. I’m retired, so I can do whatever I want. If I want to spend my last years playing Shout of Responsibility and destroying kids online, I’m going to do so. This is just like that time my daughter-in-law told me I was too old to buy a new house. She thought I should just settle for the home I’ve lived in for thirty years. No! I want to buy my own home, and I’m damn well going to do it. She can deal with it, just like the kids who are crying because they can’t get a video game for Christmas because I bought the last one.

After I finish destroying these losers online, I’m going to my appointment with the best conveyancing lawyers in Melbourne, and they’re going to help me buy a house. My know-it-all daughter-in-law claims that conveyancing lawyers can’t help find your dream property and that it’s buyer’s agents who do that, but she doesn’t know what she’s talking about. I survived the second world war! If I want a conveyancer to help me find a house, a conveyancer is going to help me find a house.

People these days have no respect for their elders. My generation invented the world wide web. The world wide web! That’s right, these whiny children wouldn’t even be able to play their violent video games without my generation. They should all just line up to show me some well-earned respect.

So, if there isn’t a conveyancing firm near Malvern that will help me find my dream home, I’ll be damned to heck. And even if, however unlikely, I’m wrong, at least I will be able to find the people who can help me with the legal side of buying a home. If I do have to find a buyer’s agent, so be it. My daughter-in-law says I’m unreasonable, but I’ll show her just how reasonable I can be.

– Kim